I’m Broken and I’m Beautiful – My Breast Cancer Story

Part 1 – My Diagnosis

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem it’s me.

It was January 30, 2022 and I celebrated my 40th birthday with balloons, dinner with my husband and lots of love, FaceTime and calls from family and friends. I had no idea that 5 months later, my world would get turned upside down.

2022 recap – first half of being 40 was all fun, landed my dream job, enlisted a health and fitness coach, we had amazing trips and plans for exciting adventures with the kids.

All of my plans, all of my hopes, everything was going to come to a screeching halt.

I had felt a lump in my left breast in mid June 2022. Yes, I always did the “self breast exam” in the shower for as long as I can remember. Just out of habit.

I felt something. It wasn’t right.

“Oh man, I’m not sure what’s going on, but my left breast is killing me,” I said to my husband one night.

“Really? Hmm, probably shouldn’t wait on that,” my husband replied.

“Yeah, I don’t know if it’s all of the Orangetheory workouts or maybe my sports bra is too tight. I’ll call and make an appointment with my OBGYN to get it looked at,” I said.

Fast forward…

Called my OBGYN. She saw me on June 21, 2022. She said it’s probably a cyst or calcification, but to be sure, let’s get a mammogram and ultrasound to be sure.

I had just turned 40, and hadn’t had a mammogram yet.

I had no family history, not even a distant relative had any kind of breast cancer, so I thought ok this is probably just an annoying cyst.

I made an appointment for a mammogram and ultrasound, but couldn’t get seen until after our family trip to Mexico, on July 12, 2022 which was 3 weeks after my initial doctor appointment. In the meantime, the lump was causing excruciating pain, physically uncomfortable and I could see the lump from the outside and FEEL it getting hard. Almost like a golf ball was inside of my breast. I’m grinning and smiling in these photos, but my left boob was killing me! I was taking Advil nearly twice a day plus a cannabis gummy just so I could sleep.

Are you ready for it?

No one prepares you for the call. No one teaches you how to handle it when you get devastating health news, and no one tells you how to tell your husband, your parents, your closest friends that you have a scary, aggressive form of cancer. When bad news comes my way, I either handle it head on or avoid it. I had no choice but to respond to the news I got on July 19, 2022. 

Got the pathology report: Metaplastic Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (found out later it was Triple Negative). Metaplastic = aggressive and constantly changing… ie: the reason for the growth and constant change I was feeling. Triple Negative is a whole other blog post on its own, but it basically means that I got the rarest kind of breast cancer with the least amount of studies, pharmaceutical advancements, etc.

All I could think of was the worst, and my poor children, especially my young daughter. Would she have to go through this at 40 years old too? Will my kids grow up without a mother? Would my husband become a widower? What kind of mark or legacy will I leave on this Earth if I didn’t win my battle with this disease?

Once you get diagnosed with breast cancer and you know it’s not the “common” kind, a million questions go through your head. I could have just curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep… well, I’m not saying I didn’t do that, but I could have just gone with the timelines and wait times that doctors were giving me, but my husband had other plans.

Nobody puts (my) baby in a corner.

I can’t even begin to tell you how important a role my husband has played in this past year. Not only is he my partner in all of this, but he was/is my biggest advocate, supporter and the most determined person I know. He refused to wait the average 14-20 days to get seen by certain doctors. He took it upon himself to research, use all of his available connections, acquaintances, distant relatives, you name it – to get recommendations, information, next steps, etc. He even went so far as to physically drive over and walk into the Mayo Clinic to hand-deliver my pathology report to the scheduling desk.

When he got home he wrote an email to the head of Oncology at the Breast Clinic at Mayo Clinic, attached the pathology report, and signed it, “Her frantic husband”. We got a call within 15 minutes of that email being sent by that doctor’s personal scheduler… and 48 hours later, we walked into the Mayo Clinic to meet with the doctor.*

*My husband would like me to add that it was most likely the pathology report that got us into Mayo so quickly, and not his smooth emailing skills, but who knows, both things can be true.

Everyone shows their love in different ways. Every spouse put in this position has two choices. They can choose to be proactive, do what they can to help support their partner, or they can sit by and take what is given to them.

I’m sharing all of this with you because it doesn’t go unnoticed by me that I’m NOT unusual (unfortunately). 1 in 7 (or could be 1 in 4) women are diagnosed with breast cancer. I have too many close friends and coworkers that have gone through breast cancer, and unfortunately what I’ve learned from this diagnosis is that you and your partner need to be your own advocate for your health. 

What did we learn? Don’t wait. Do whatever it takes to get seen. 85% of the 264,000 American women who are diagnosed every year in this country have no family history and I was one of them. I felt a strong connection to Katie Couric after reading about her diagnosis this past year as well. (Personally have always been a huge fan of her.) She shares her journey here, if you want to check it out.

If you feel something and are in pain (like I was) most people would push it off and say “it’s not cancer, because cancer doesn’t hurt.” But I’m just one example of how that was completely false. Listen to your body, your intuition and if you want a second (or third) opinion, get it. 

Don’t stop believin’

Next step was to go through all of the tests, bloodwork, imaging, etc. I cannot sing the praises of the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix / Scottsdale enough. Every. single. human I interact with there has been the most amazing, caring, kind and extremely smart. You know you’re at a progressive research hospital when your oncologist quotes case studies and focus groups that only happened a year or 2 ago. My oncology team was and is so thorough, everything from my treatment plan, reasoning why, to my surgeons, infusion nurses, everyone is phenomenal.

I’m still going through treatment, but will end Part 1 of my breast cancer story here.

I’ll be posting more about my treatment plan, mindset, chemo-chic beauty and everything in between as well as my old regularly scheduled content around makeup and mom style. I’m currently still undergoing treatment as I write this, but it took me a LONG time to get myself to even write this. If I help even just one other woman feel like she is not alone in this fight, my words will have done their job. It takes a lot of courage, strength and determination to go up against breast cancer and now this is a part of my story, whether I like it or not.

If you or someone you know has been diagnosed with breast cancer, please know that there are so many resources, support groups and sites to help. Don’t get sucked down the rabbit hole. Stay true to who YOU are, keep a small group of friends close so you can bitch and moan when you need to vent or ask questions.

I’m here if you want to reach out, drop a comment or DM on Instagram…. I’ll be sharing more soon, thank you for your love and support.